Life Decision Time

[Dv8]

Hi folks , i have a big issue which has torn me in different directions for a couple of years now ...
Right now im 41 , have two daughters one 17 one 8 ...

Im with my partner which i dont love and havent for quite a number of years now , we dont agree on anything , were not on the same page as far as the kids go , we share no common goals ...

she doesnt work and we,ve been struggling on one wage for a few years as well , the year s are ticking along one after another and nothing changes , im not happy ...

I have had a chance or two at affairs in which i turned down because although im not in love i didnt see it as helping matters , one chick we both had an incredible attraction , we both acnowledged it and i let it go ...
I know i should probably just walk out , thing is I love my youngest daughter to bits and she idolizes me
and i know she would be devastated if i moved out ,
i feel depressed when i think of how she will feel without me their everynight , i know how i felt when my parents split up and i was 21 ...sigh...

if my partner touches me my i feel nothing my skin crawls actualy , i walk ahead of her if we go out , theirs just nothing their , although we are good friends and have been since we were kids ...

confused as ...
thought i would post this here because no-one knows how i feel except my mother who knows a bit , but i dont burden her with my problems so i keep it to myself ...

and i respect the poeple here and would like to hear opinions , to maybe help clear my head a bit ...

cheers ...thankyou...

[BUSTER]

Sorry to hear about the dilemma you are in mate. I don’t truly know your situation cause IV never been there. But I may have some suggestions, It’s so hard when kids are involved especially lil ones, its hard being away from my youngest even for a night.
My parents split up when I was young and it devastated me too. Although I look back now and see it was for the best. I didn’t see any affection between my parents and that effected me in some way. I think you both might need some space before starting another relationship as from what you say there is some resentment there, and that wouldn’t be fair on the person you meet. Are you both healthy? Does one of you have an illness like depression?
Relationships are complicated sometimes especially when kids are around; although it’s hard at times me and my wife give 110% to one another. Like you said time is ticking.
Have you both tried counseling it would be worth it? I know the older I get IV changed my outlook on life and people but they do say you never stop learning. And I try not to criticize people into being something different.

Hope it all works out ,good luck to you both.

[disgracian]

Is there any communication between you and your partner or is it firmly beyond reconciliation?

[Dv8]

Cheer,s thanx buster , I,ve suffered from depression for many years , and take anti-depressants ,
but sometimes i think the anti-depressants are the only way i endure this relaitionship ...

Counselling is out of the question , because we,ve done it in the past and she agrees to one thing in front of the counsellor and then does another the next day ...
Its a constant battle when i tell the kids one thing and she thinks she can over-ride my desicions , its just getting to hard ....

Thanx for your input tho ...it is hard choices , but the only answer i seem to keep facing is to go ,
hurt my daughter in the short term , leave her(my partner) everything and just walk out ...
apart from those things lifes great

cheers thanx buster ....

[Dv8]

No disgracian we cannot talk about anything much really except really shallow day to day mundane crap,
i work , go to the gym and muck around on the computer (quake) she watches tv and thats pretty much it ...
if it wasnt for my youngest daughter i,d be long gone ...

argh .

fk if i dont do somethin i know when new years 2008 rolls around i,ll be still fkn wondering what to do ...

sheeeet ...

[GURU]

well it seems like ther is pretty much nothing left for you here in this relationship except your younger daughter.

What does your partner think about all this ? would she be pretty much in agreeance with your thoughts as posted above? or does she just think everything is sweet?

if she was in agreeance with your thoughts as above then i couldnt see why you would both stay in a lifeless relationship!

[disgracian]

[Dv8]

[GURU]

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[Dv8]

[disgracian]

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[bandit]

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