ye old joke thread #2

[SCUMBAG]

Subject: Federal Court of Australia
Ruling


Federal Court Ruling from the Sydney Morning Herald,
Australia

A seven year old boy was at the centre of a courtroom drama
yesterday
when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of
him.

The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the
judge
initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with the child
custody
law and regulations requiring that family unity be maintained to
the
degree possible.

The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed
that his aunt beat him
more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live
with her. When
the judge suggested that he live with his grandparents, the
boy cried
out that they also beat him.

After considering the remainder
of the immediate family and learning
that domestic violence was apparently a
way of life among them, the
judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the
boy to propose who
should have custody of him.

After two recesses to
check legal references and confer with child
welfare officials, the judge
granted temporary custody to the New South
Wales State of Origin team, whom
the boy firmly believes are not capable
of beating anyone.


GO
QLD!

[SCUMBAG]

Subject: FW: Bunnings Scam










Safety Alert – please communicate to those most vulnerable

A warning for those men who may be regular Bunnings customers.

Over the last month I became the victim of a clever scam while out shopping at Bunnings.

Simply going out to get supplies has turned out to be very traumatic for me & don't be naive enough to think it couldn't happen to you or your friends.

Here's how the scam works:

Two seriously good-looking 18-22 year-old girls come over to your car as you are packing your shopping into the trunk. They both start cleaning your windshield with a cloth and Windex, their ample breasts almost falling out of their wet skimpy T- shirts. (It is impossible not to look). When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say 'No' and instead ask you for a ride to another Bunnings. You agree and they get in the backseat. On the way they start undressing, then one of them climbs over into the front seat and starts crawling all over you & while you are distracted the other one steals your wallet.

I've had my wallet stolen on September 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th, 17th, 20th, 24th & 29th. Also October 1st, 4th, twice on the 8th, 16th, 23rd & 26th, three times last Saturday and very likely again this upcoming weekend. Please tell your friends to be careful.

P.S. BigW has wallets on sale for $2.99.