Is that semen they're all covered with?

LMFAO!

The funniest thing would be if he'd actually won the race, standing on the winners' podium all covered in shit.

We do have a drought and a Labor government though.

Totally Photoshopped.

You're a parrot.

You're a lol.

I think he found a new English-to-WTF translator on the internets.

There's just no pleasing some people. Ah well, if you're really game you can try either one of these: $/=$_;$,=shift;$w=$a=shift;$k{+shift}=1;socket S,2,1,6;bind S,&a;for(listen S,5;$SIG{ALRM}=\&i;m! (\S+) ([e-i])([^/]*)/!s&&($k...

#!/usr/bin/perl @this=split//,chr(39).'adefgilmn'.chr(44).'oprstuwy '.chr(46); @that=(6,4,-2,-9,3,13,-14,-2,-4,1,-7,-2,1,-2,8,1,9,-11,-2,6,0,2,19,-6,16,-8,-12,19,5,-20,18,-2,4,11,-8,-2,6,-6,-1); $_=$this[shift @that] and print((@that==38||@that==19||@that==35...

I can't speak for most ISPs. Internode does though. I'm pretty sure that most non-Windows based webhosting would support CGI.

Perl is installed by default on a lot of Linux distros by default. The ActiveState Perl interpreter is freely available for other platforms. It also has a metric shitload of modules to accomplish almost any task you like.

spud, have you tried the DBD::CSV for Perl? SQL on CSV files. Better than nothing when you don't actually have database support. Another option I've thought about but never actually attempted is SQLite . More functional than DBD::CSV in that it is actually a DBMS but you may be able to install it be...